yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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