So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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