his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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