Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
