I'm jealous of your bromance
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
