before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
