Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
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