She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
