Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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