she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
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Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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