Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
