I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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