We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
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they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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