Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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