farters have to be the big spoon...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
