DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize