Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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