already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize