So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
