think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize