was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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