I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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