I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
