I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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