remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
