How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
