I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
