just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He better not be in your backpack
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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