Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
