Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
