So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
