Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
