Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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