You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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