I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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