I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
