am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
