Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
wow bdsm is so cute
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
