dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My feet surprised me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
