I wish I only lived at night.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
