When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize