What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.