She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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