I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize