Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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