It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
soo... how was my night?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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