I'm really into asian looking animals
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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