how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
