don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
