Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
