you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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