Don't make out with my wife yet
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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