I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
