I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
