im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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