I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
