we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
