can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize